i am anurag
Saturday, June 15, 2013
HILL FULL OF DREAMS
Dedication: To all those common people whose dreams came true.
“I miss u, wanna c u once before I board the train.” I am elated to read that text from ANU and decided to meet her for one last time.
”Sandy lets go,” I said to SANDEEP pointing toward his bike. “GOWTHAM don’t be crazy. She is going to be back in Hyderabad from Tirupati by Monday. Don’t behave as if you are not meeting her again or the world is coming to an end. You guys just started seeing each other since a month and how come you became a Romeo so early? Holy shit”
“Am in love bro” I replied, ”Whatever, I don’t believe in this love, its all attraction. You got smitten by the charm sitting next to her in the computer lab and now named it as LOVE.”
I was not paying attention to his monotonous philosophy but as a boyfriend it’s my duty to fulfill her only wish. Wait am I talking like a Romeo, never mind.
“Sandy Do you believe in Love”
“No way.”
“Do you believe in friendship”?
“Of course yes”
“Then as a friend please take me to the railway station. I am really running out of time”
I knew he has no choice. He started the ignition of his new “Hero Karizma” and vroomed towards the Secunderabad Railway Station.
Like the vehicles on the road various thoughts are running in my mind with all love songs playing on my tiny mp3 player. But like a traffic signal my thoughts had to break since Sandy braked at a Gas Station for the fuel. Though Sandy’s filthy rich dad bought him all the expensive stuff, he never had 50/- in his valet not because he misuses the money but his dad is of the opinion that his dumb son might get exploited by some CUNNING, STREET SMART friends like me.
I paid Rs50, which didn’t even come to a litre. I still remember my dad getting the petrol for Rs 30/ litre in my 10th class. 20/- shooting up in 4 years is too much. I wonder how much would it cost 10 years from now. It might hit a ton even before Sachin Tendulkar gets his 100 centuries.
We parked the bike and started running towards the platform. After scanning the whole platform with my anxious eyes for 15 minutes, I found her standing in front of the AC compartment. She was wearing a green salwar…Ahh she is unbelievably beautiful. I texted her to come towards the idly stand where Sandy and I were waiting. She came after 5 mins. She said Hi to us, smiled and walked back to her seat. We could not talk anything since her mom, dad and kid brother are around. I want to see her again that one last time.”Heyyyy” she turned around and I took the tiny MP3 player from my pocket and gave it to her. She was surprised by my gift and that is something, which I didn’t expect too. Yes, now I see that twinkle in her eye and I always loved it. Now I feel like a KING.
While walking back to our bike I said, “Dude may be I should go to Tirupathi”
“Have you gone mad?”
“No am serious. I want to see Lord Balaji with her.”
“Why don’t you both tonsure your head and stay there forever? Don’t be impulsive Gowtham. Why are you going head over heels on her? Is it because of her green salwar? Think of it, she will be back in 2 days. Stop your wild imaginations and lets go home.”
“Sandy even if I come home I keep missing her like hell, please let me just try this adventure. I felt so good when I fulfilled her small wish. I want to give her something more than this. How much would an AC ticket cost?”
“1500 may be”
“What? That’s almost equal to my monthly expenses. I can’t afford that much. Any alternative?”
“There will be only general tickets available for now. Did you ever travel in a general compartment?”
“I did few years back may be in my 6th class but I puked that day and decided never to travel in a general. I am now ready to break my decision. I have Rs 400 in my pocket. Would that be enough for my total trip?”
“It should be sufficient if you don’t spend on gifts to your girlfriend to prove her that you are the greatest boyfriend on the earth.”
“I think I will be one someday”
I took the ticket and headed towards the platform. I got a seat luckily but have to share it with 4 other people. Sandy bought me a handkerchief (its always advisable to carry one if you are travelling in a general), some lemons and a water bottle. I also gave him Rs100 to refill my phone. The announcement came, Sandy waved and left. I kept thinking “What would be her reaction when she finds me in the same train? Can I make it to the AC compartment? What if their dad or mom finds out? Am I going crazy?”. The train started moving and thus started the journey of my lifetime on June 16th 2006 at 17:28 PM IST.
I somehow felt travelling in a general is not as bad as I imagined it to be. There are some annoying moments like people spitting from the windows, few snoring heavily, packed seats, stinky floor etc but still I am enjoying my trip. A part of my mind is still thinking about Anu but I decided to make a move only after the sunset. I decided to stay calm for a couple of hours and embark on my mission though I still haven’t decided what to do next. But my only motto of this adventure is to meet her and have a DARSHAN together if possible. Lets see what Mr.Balaji has in store for me.
After an hour into the journey a lady who is sitting few seats ahead of us puked and that started making me very uncomfortable. I have decided to change the compartment but as a part of courtesy I planned to change in my next stop i.e. Warangal, which also happens to be the place where my parents live. In the mean time I took out the kerchief and managing myself. After 20 odd minutes of my wait the train arrived at the station. The warmth of my hometown greeted me in the form of nice cold breeze. No I am not exaggerating it was cold that day. I got out of the train and walking towards another compartment. A person who is short and stout with bald head holding a suitcase on one hand and a bag on another hand is yelling at his wife to board the train quickly. I am wondering if he is uncle SURESH and yes that’s uncle Suresh. I started running in the opposite direction and boarded into a compartment. The train started moving as soon as I boarded. Then I realized it is second class.
I received a text from ANU “Guess where am i?”
“Australia” I said
“ No sweetumps am in my husband’s town”.
Her message eased me a bit after the series of incidents in last 10 minutes. It started getting dark and I sat near to the bathroom planning my next action. The train passed Khammam, Vijayawada and Ongole and I was lost in my thoughts.
I saw the TC walking towards me with a broad smile on his face. He asked me “General huh?”…I was startled by his straightforward question. This man should have been a lawyer, how on earth could he notice am a general guy standing in second class? I honestly explained him my problem. He then said “ Do one thing go and take the seat A36 in the AC compartment”. I don’t believe this I am actually sitting in AC!!! I took a 100/- to give him but he refused. I thanked him but inside I felt “ Meru Devudayya”.
I took my seat and with my X ray eyes scanned the whole compartment for her. I don’t see her anywhere. I felt I should relax here a while and then start my hunt. I searched the compartment after everyone turned off the lights. I found her on the other side of the compartment on the middle berth and my beautiful is sleeping. That was such a lovely sight which I can keep looking forever. I know its not the right time to disturb her so I went back to my seat. I slowly fell asleep and suddenly woke up to realize the train started approaching Tirupati.
Wowwww I am finally in Tirupati with her.
I got down the train before them and texted her “Welcome to Seven Hills”. She replied me immediately “I jus reached n how do u know it?” I texted her to turn around and her face turned into a big question mark with her mouth wide open. I got a call from her “What is this? I don’t believe it?” she asked.
“ I want to see how beautiful you are after waking up so I took the train…simple.”
“ You are one crazy %&@##% “
“ I know”
“ Hey I have to go. Long day ahead, walking the hill and then DARSHAN. I will cal you whenever I get time…Love you”
Wow I now need to walk, never done it before. Sounds exciting!!! I took a bus and they took a taxi to reach ALIPIRI. I started walking as swiftly as I can to reach her. After an hour of my brisk walk and little running (infact mostly running) finally found her. I started to think how horrible I might be looking now. Forget introducing me as her boy friend she cant even introduce me like her friend with the way I look now to her dad so I made sure am off their radar. We both exchanged a glance but didn’t really smile and suddenly got a cal from my dad to check if I have started to college, which is his usual routine while going to work.
I looked at the couples coming from different corners of the state while walking and started thinking I should take my kids with ANU after the marriage and have a happy cute, little and happy family. OMG why am I thinking like this?
4 hours of our walking took us to Mr. Venkat’s place. They left for their cottage and I just stared, stared and stared at her from a corner. I bought a soap, towel and underpants to take a bath at the nearest pond. Not even in my wildest dreams I ever thought I would do something like this. Only love made me do this and am happy doing it. I changed my dress after the bath and looked myself in the mirror. Wow I felt like I have lost 20 pounds. I received a text from her telling that they are leaving to darshan in 2 hrs. They have the VIP darshan mostly so I decided to take 100/- ticket for my darshan with a hope that I might meet them sometime after 2 hours anywhere in the temple. I took a locker and put my stuff in it to meet my favorite GOD.
There is a heavy rush and I am almost 6 hours in the queue but don’t see any traces of her. I felt positive that I have to thank GOD for making atleast this happen and its not good to expect Darshan together after all he has done to me. This made me feel little strong. After 3 more hours I reached the temple entrance. This is the place where general, VIP, VVIP all merge together. The commotion has to be experienced to believe it and YES YES YES there she is!!!!!! The traditional yellow half saree with eyes full of devotion and innocence. Inspite of the huge crowd around I could only see her just her. For me the whole temple is evacuated with just GOD, her and me.
I waited till she came to me and we exchanged a smile. Wowwww am approaching my favorite god with my favorite girl. What more can I ask for now? I now have the B-E-S-T D-A-R-S-H-A-N O-F M-Y L-I-F-E. I am definitely on cloud 9 sorry on top of the 7 hills. I took the last 100/- from my pocket and put it in the HUNDI. I am not sure how I would go back home but am totally carried away by the best things happening around.
Her family was sitting on some corner with PRASAD and praying. I was watching them and then she sighed me to follow her. We reached a corner where no one can find us. She gave me a small paper and left. I opened the paper and found 500/- . How does she know I ran out of money? Is she returning the favour of my MP3 player that I gave her? No she understood I didn’t have money and gave me. Now that’s true love. I decided I have memories that I can cherish forever. So I took all my belongings and reached Tirupati bus station.
I texted her
“ Hey am leaving to Warangal. Feel like going home once. Will be back by the time u reach hyd. Till then have a great trip and haffun. Love u Tc miss u”
I saw a small idly stall then it struck me I haven’t eaten anything since I boarded the train. This is unbelievable I wasn’t eating anything till now and didn’t even feel hungry. Is this the true love where you forgot to sleep, eat and everything just for her? I had a heavy meal and took my bus to Warangal. I peeped out of the window to see the whole town again and rewinding the memories. I know this might not be a big deal for everyone but for a 19 year old it definitely is one. My body needs a reboot i.e. sleep. I called mom and sandy before the sleep.
I reached Warangal around 7 in the morning and hit straight to home. Mom and dad were little surprised to see me at that time. I explained them there’s nothing to worry just felt like coming home and will leave tomorrow.
While dad was about to leave. A person with tonsured head came home and yes you guessed it right that was uncle Suresh. He brought home the PRASAD and gave us.
My dad was asking if they had nice darshan and he said it was great. I said to myself “Gowtham you had the best one man”.
Uncle Suresh asked me “Babu how was your darshan?.” Everyone there was in a shock with his question. My mom and dad gave a puzzled look!!!! I am shocked too.
ANURAAG
Saturday, July 16, 2011
I AM BAD BUT NOT HYDERA"BAD"
"Hey Anil Supplementary results r out.wake up.do check it n lemme know.all d best baby.
luv
Gagana"
Woke up at once looking at the BOMB in my inbox.I gave a quick glance at my wall clock that struck sharp 7.Then i noticed,i slept for just 3 hours.I dashed to the restroom to brush and rushed to the nearest internet cafe.I can hardly hear Amma yelling at me about the yummy "poha" she prepared for the breakfast.Dad is busy reading the newspaper outside sitting on his age old yellow scooter,sipping his coffee and is about to leave for work.We both exchanged an unpleasentary look.He watching me walking swiftly so early in the morning asked "Where???".He wants a kilogram long answer for his micro milligram question."Nothing" i replied and walked even more fast before he says anything.I cursed at myself for having seen dad's face at this crucial point.But i found today is 27 aug.2+7=9,thats a lucky number for me so i guess i would pull it off this time.
Crucial point i say because if i dont clear the subject "Network Theory" this time i will be detained to attend my college for an year and have to sit at home staring at dad's face all day,which is worst than hell and i lose all the trust and hope i build in Gagana's heart.The latter is even more horrifying to think.Last night we had a long 5 hour talk on phone promising her that i will be through this time,finish my engineering on time,get a fat salary,ask her dad,marry her in rich hindu style,babies blah blah blah.So am pretty much nervous now.My thoughts are too buzy to reply Gagana's messages since my phone is running low on battery and replied her finlly "@internet cafe.jus wait".
My friend Suri came out of a cabin."what happened?" i asked."all gone.gotta sketch something before my parents find it."he said.I am sure my blood pressure is on an all time high now while typing my no. i typed 04e01a0502...it bufferred,bufferred n bufferred...then the screen displayed
NAME SUBJECT EXAM INTERNAL TOTAL RESULT
Anil krishna network theory 34 2 36 FAIL
I froze.My heart broken.There is nothing i can do now.I feel like a loser now...no am a LOSER.various questions in mind.how to face Gagana now?what to tell dad?what would my friends and neighbours think of me?Do i need to study with my juniors?
My fingers dialled Gagana's number.she said "Hullo" in a curious tone..."Hey baby i donno how to tell, i screwed up again.am really sorry".She hung up the call.I dialled her no. again this time she cut my cal.I am expecting this anyway what i didnt expect was a text message from her saying...
"Trusting you is the worst thing in life.I will never ever talk to u.Its all over".Tears started rolling out of my eyes...i started crying now in the cabin.I never cried when dad beat me with his belt,never cried when i failed,never cried when seniors ragged me,never cried when i had a fight with friends but crying now when a gal rejected me...My heart refused to accept this failure.
With a lump in heart paid my bill...I have around 200 bucks in my vallet with little change.I know i cannot go home now and brave enough to face the consequences.I can neither bluff my parents like Suri.Leading my life without Gagana is almost next to impossible.Man i hate my FUCKING life.Then i made up my mind to give up my life...Yes i end this fucking life...27 aug 2007 is my last day on the earth.
The idea of ending my life excited me so much.So i started walking to a departmental store for a BAYGON spray.There i found the yummy bakery biscuits.I took them with a bottle of coke and DIARYMILK as my last snack to munch with poison.The total bill costed me for rs.46,where my poison itself is rs25.I started wondering why should i waste my last money for killing i can instead go to a nearest pond,which dont cost me anything. This sounded so good.I purchased all the stuff except poison and started planning my BUCKET LIST.
-A beer
-A movie
-My favourite food.
Wowwww.To assign the first task I decided to go to my favourite bar DERBY.I called for an auto but my fucking middle class mind diverted me to take the bus for having a free pass.I thought of calling Gagana once but i want to prove her a point so dropped the idea.so whom should i call???Amma...no i might drop my plan.no way dad.friend???nah not interested.anyways my battery is almost dead.so no incoming and no outgoing.Life is pretty happy without a cell phone.sorry death infact.
At the bus stop an old man with bald head,specs of his belly size introduced himself to me "hi am Nageswara rao from sattupalli.khammama district",fuck this old man why is he telling this to me and now am supposed to give him mine.I stayed calm and reluctant to answer.He asked "what is your name babu" "Anil" i replied."what do you do"."going to die"said to myself but said am a student.He then went on telling me about his work,family,purpose of his visit to hyderabad blah blah blah.I feel pity for myself that i cant die happily meeting these old men.He then said I resemble his son especially my hairstyle.I gave him a soft expression with a gentle smile.He then opened his bag and gave me the wedding invitation of his daughter.I took it.Then came the bus 113e .We both boarded the bus.He asked me where do i get down "Fever hospital"i said."i gotta go to vidyanagar,invite few friends for the wedding then take my bus in the evening from kothi."Why on earth is he telling me his schedule please shut up i wanted say.luckily my stop came.I waved gudbye to him.He said take care.I thanked him and got down.
I ordered a strong KINGFISHER with a bag of chips.The last beer tasted yummy.The tv infront playing all my favourite songs and am enjoying it.Am glad i fullfilled the first one on wish list.Now the second one,i took a bus to PRASADS luckily there is one to disturb me this time.Took a ticket for CHAKDE INDIA.While watching the movie i was thinking who would cry for my death...DAD???MOM???GAGANA???FRIENDS???ANY NEW ONES.Now i can see people watch cry after death from top and understand who really cares.Then i thought will they really cry??? I somehow could not watch the movie completely because of the mental imbalance.I walked out of the theatre amidst the movie but happy that i checked the second one successfully...
Now the next one is to have my favourite food.How about BAWARCHI BIRYANI???I checked my vallet and cursed myself.I kept walking around the TANK BUND and checking for the ideal spot for my suicide.I found the water and the place is not an ideal one for death instead i might become handicapped.How???what if i get hit by a bus...ok let me find an apt place to feed my belly first...Yeah a chat would do.I took a bus again from NTR gardens bus stop to kothi.This is the place Gagana and me hang out the most.
I ordered a plate of PAV BHAJI and PANIPURI each.Just when i started taking a bite i felt someone slapping me from behind.I turned around and its the same fucking oldman.God whats my sin???He is quite surprised to find me here and went on explaining about his trip.The only good thing this man has done to me is to pay my bill.Now i thank god for reminding me of his son.I left the place as soon as i had my food.I opened the vallet,it has around 40 bucks.Now i decided i can have another beer before i bid farewell to the world.I glanced at the pics of mom,dad and Gagana in my vallet,took the money and my bus pass and threw the purse and phone in the air after boarding the bus to DERBY.Bus pass is the best thing for students in HYDERABAD.I LOVE HYDERABAD.
I reached derby and ordered my regular beer.The BAR tender started screaming suddenly.Am shocked for his unexpected scream and asked another customer whats going on???He said a BOMB BLAST took place in LUMBINI PARK and GOKUL CHAT.I became motionless.These are the places i visited few hours back.TV channels are filled with the BREAKING NEWS.Yes its breaking indeed.The tv infront now started playing the trageody. Man the same old man.His bag in the TV.I dont believe this.What happened to him???Looks like he is dead.Its unapologetic.I started wondering where is mom,dad and Gagana.Hope they are all safe.I became cold.Tears flowing like waves from eyes.Then the bar staff asked everyone to evacuate and i am now not allowed to call home for my parents whereabouts.I now took the bus of lifetime to reach home after a lot of drama. I now started to feel the pain of losing the loved ones.How stupid i was to think of killing myself.I would have pushed all my loved ones to the zone of grief forever.My career,Love and everything would have been settled in an year if i start working now properly instead i chose a very bad path.Now my tears have a genuine feeling.This old man who came into my life as a messiah to save my parents is no more.Am really sorry for not understanding u MR.Nageswara rao.
I got down of the bus and started running home.I heard Suri calling me on the way.He suddenly asked me "U still alive???"."What do u mean" i said."The TV channels scrolled your name in the BOMBBLAST showing your college identity card.So everyone is worried at home.Even Gagana is also at your home".
I rushed home immediately.Everyone is pleasantly surprised and absolutely extatic to see me back.I fabricated a story telling them someone stole my purse and phone in the bus.My mom is very much pleased with my story and went into the kitchen to make my favourite GAZAR HALWA.Gagana showed a sigh of relief and happily went home.Dad came to me and slapped me hard.Now i see both of us having tears.What a slap.
I went into the kitchen.My mom said "Thank god U r back.""yes amma AM BACK"said to myself.I took a phone and called Gagana.Even she is quite happy to see me back.She then got a doubt in the story"If your purse and phone are stolen.How did you come in a bus???"
I now feel gals are better in finding the culprits of the BOMBBLAST...They have this uncanny knack of finding anything under the sun.
ANURAAG
luv
Gagana"
Woke up at once looking at the BOMB in my inbox.I gave a quick glance at my wall clock that struck sharp 7.Then i noticed,i slept for just 3 hours.I dashed to the restroom to brush and rushed to the nearest internet cafe.I can hardly hear Amma yelling at me about the yummy "poha" she prepared for the breakfast.Dad is busy reading the newspaper outside sitting on his age old yellow scooter,sipping his coffee and is about to leave for work.We both exchanged an unpleasentary look.He watching me walking swiftly so early in the morning asked "Where???".He wants a kilogram long answer for his micro milligram question."Nothing" i replied and walked even more fast before he says anything.I cursed at myself for having seen dad's face at this crucial point.But i found today is 27 aug.2+7=9,thats a lucky number for me so i guess i would pull it off this time.
Crucial point i say because if i dont clear the subject "Network Theory" this time i will be detained to attend my college for an year and have to sit at home staring at dad's face all day,which is worst than hell and i lose all the trust and hope i build in Gagana's heart.The latter is even more horrifying to think.Last night we had a long 5 hour talk on phone promising her that i will be through this time,finish my engineering on time,get a fat salary,ask her dad,marry her in rich hindu style,babies blah blah blah.So am pretty much nervous now.My thoughts are too buzy to reply Gagana's messages since my phone is running low on battery and replied her finlly "@internet cafe.jus wait".
My friend Suri came out of a cabin."what happened?" i asked."all gone.gotta sketch something before my parents find it."he said.I am sure my blood pressure is on an all time high now while typing my no. i typed 04e01a0502...it bufferred,bufferred n bufferred...then the screen displayed
NAME SUBJECT EXAM INTERNAL TOTAL RESULT
Anil krishna network theory 34 2 36 FAIL
I froze.My heart broken.There is nothing i can do now.I feel like a loser now...no am a LOSER.various questions in mind.how to face Gagana now?what to tell dad?what would my friends and neighbours think of me?Do i need to study with my juniors?
My fingers dialled Gagana's number.she said "Hullo" in a curious tone..."Hey baby i donno how to tell, i screwed up again.am really sorry".She hung up the call.I dialled her no. again this time she cut my cal.I am expecting this anyway what i didnt expect was a text message from her saying...
"Trusting you is the worst thing in life.I will never ever talk to u.Its all over".Tears started rolling out of my eyes...i started crying now in the cabin.I never cried when dad beat me with his belt,never cried when i failed,never cried when seniors ragged me,never cried when i had a fight with friends but crying now when a gal rejected me...My heart refused to accept this failure.
With a lump in heart paid my bill...I have around 200 bucks in my vallet with little change.I know i cannot go home now and brave enough to face the consequences.I can neither bluff my parents like Suri.Leading my life without Gagana is almost next to impossible.Man i hate my FUCKING life.Then i made up my mind to give up my life...Yes i end this fucking life...27 aug 2007 is my last day on the earth.
The idea of ending my life excited me so much.So i started walking to a departmental store for a BAYGON spray.There i found the yummy bakery biscuits.I took them with a bottle of coke and DIARYMILK as my last snack to munch with poison.The total bill costed me for rs.46,where my poison itself is rs25.I started wondering why should i waste my last money for killing i can instead go to a nearest pond,which dont cost me anything. This sounded so good.I purchased all the stuff except poison and started planning my BUCKET LIST.
-A beer
-A movie
-My favourite food.
Wowwww.To assign the first task I decided to go to my favourite bar DERBY.I called for an auto but my fucking middle class mind diverted me to take the bus for having a free pass.I thought of calling Gagana once but i want to prove her a point so dropped the idea.so whom should i call???Amma...no i might drop my plan.no way dad.friend???nah not interested.anyways my battery is almost dead.so no incoming and no outgoing.Life is pretty happy without a cell phone.sorry death infact.
At the bus stop an old man with bald head,specs of his belly size introduced himself to me "hi am Nageswara rao from sattupalli.khammama district",fuck this old man why is he telling this to me and now am supposed to give him mine.I stayed calm and reluctant to answer.He asked "what is your name babu" "Anil" i replied."what do you do"."going to die"said to myself but said am a student.He then went on telling me about his work,family,purpose of his visit to hyderabad blah blah blah.I feel pity for myself that i cant die happily meeting these old men.He then said I resemble his son especially my hairstyle.I gave him a soft expression with a gentle smile.He then opened his bag and gave me the wedding invitation of his daughter.I took it.Then came the bus 113e .We both boarded the bus.He asked me where do i get down "Fever hospital"i said."i gotta go to vidyanagar,invite few friends for the wedding then take my bus in the evening from kothi."Why on earth is he telling me his schedule please shut up i wanted say.luckily my stop came.I waved gudbye to him.He said take care.I thanked him and got down.
I ordered a strong KINGFISHER with a bag of chips.The last beer tasted yummy.The tv infront playing all my favourite songs and am enjoying it.Am glad i fullfilled the first one on wish list.Now the second one,i took a bus to PRASADS luckily there is one to disturb me this time.Took a ticket for CHAKDE INDIA.While watching the movie i was thinking who would cry for my death...DAD???MOM???GAGANA???FRIENDS???ANY NEW ONES.Now i can see people watch cry after death from top and understand who really cares.Then i thought will they really cry??? I somehow could not watch the movie completely because of the mental imbalance.I walked out of the theatre amidst the movie but happy that i checked the second one successfully...
Now the next one is to have my favourite food.How about BAWARCHI BIRYANI???I checked my vallet and cursed myself.I kept walking around the TANK BUND and checking for the ideal spot for my suicide.I found the water and the place is not an ideal one for death instead i might become handicapped.How???what if i get hit by a bus...ok let me find an apt place to feed my belly first...Yeah a chat would do.I took a bus again from NTR gardens bus stop to kothi.This is the place Gagana and me hang out the most.
I ordered a plate of PAV BHAJI and PANIPURI each.Just when i started taking a bite i felt someone slapping me from behind.I turned around and its the same fucking oldman.God whats my sin???He is quite surprised to find me here and went on explaining about his trip.The only good thing this man has done to me is to pay my bill.Now i thank god for reminding me of his son.I left the place as soon as i had my food.I opened the vallet,it has around 40 bucks.Now i decided i can have another beer before i bid farewell to the world.I glanced at the pics of mom,dad and Gagana in my vallet,took the money and my bus pass and threw the purse and phone in the air after boarding the bus to DERBY.Bus pass is the best thing for students in HYDERABAD.I LOVE HYDERABAD.
I reached derby and ordered my regular beer.The BAR tender started screaming suddenly.Am shocked for his unexpected scream and asked another customer whats going on???He said a BOMB BLAST took place in LUMBINI PARK and GOKUL CHAT.I became motionless.These are the places i visited few hours back.TV channels are filled with the BREAKING NEWS.Yes its breaking indeed.The tv infront now started playing the trageody. Man the same old man.His bag in the TV.I dont believe this.What happened to him???Looks like he is dead.Its unapologetic.I started wondering where is mom,dad and Gagana.Hope they are all safe.I became cold.Tears flowing like waves from eyes.Then the bar staff asked everyone to evacuate and i am now not allowed to call home for my parents whereabouts.I now took the bus of lifetime to reach home after a lot of drama. I now started to feel the pain of losing the loved ones.How stupid i was to think of killing myself.I would have pushed all my loved ones to the zone of grief forever.My career,Love and everything would have been settled in an year if i start working now properly instead i chose a very bad path.Now my tears have a genuine feeling.This old man who came into my life as a messiah to save my parents is no more.Am really sorry for not understanding u MR.Nageswara rao.
I got down of the bus and started running home.I heard Suri calling me on the way.He suddenly asked me "U still alive???"."What do u mean" i said."The TV channels scrolled your name in the BOMBBLAST showing your college identity card.So everyone is worried at home.Even Gagana is also at your home".
I rushed home immediately.Everyone is pleasantly surprised and absolutely extatic to see me back.I fabricated a story telling them someone stole my purse and phone in the bus.My mom is very much pleased with my story and went into the kitchen to make my favourite GAZAR HALWA.Gagana showed a sigh of relief and happily went home.Dad came to me and slapped me hard.Now i see both of us having tears.What a slap.
I went into the kitchen.My mom said "Thank god U r back.""yes amma AM BACK"said to myself.I took a phone and called Gagana.Even she is quite happy to see me back.She then got a doubt in the story"If your purse and phone are stolen.How did you come in a bus???"
I now feel gals are better in finding the culprits of the BOMBBLAST...They have this uncanny knack of finding anything under the sun.
ANURAAG
Sunday, September 19, 2010
PULI GARJANA

Folks first things first,I am a huge fan of PAWAN KALYAN since TAMMUDU irrespective of his success and failures.His style,aura,the charishma is quite unbeatable...
Like all you guys am hugely disappointed with his latest outing PULI.The much hyped and much publicized movie of telugucinema till date is a mere torture in every aspect including PK's performance.If you ask me what went wrong with PULI,i would honestly say EVERYTHING.After coming of this 2hr 40 mins of torture i screamed "babu pawan kalyan emaindi neku???"
He was once considered as the script doctor.His selection of stories used to be unique and perfect till JOHNNY.JALSA was the only saving grace in his last 10 yrs.
Now come on guys...Just imagine an actor in INDIA r even in the world cinema...show me one actor who didnt had a single hit for ten yrs but still be able to command record openings and ultimate following???Its just PAWAN KALYAN.
As you can see these days,a lot of news channels debating who's next after CHIRANJEEVI???The options are MAHESHBABU,NTR,PRABHAS,RAM CHARAN,ALLU ARJUN,RANA,BALAKRISHNA...
My question is from all the above options let me clarify something
1.What is Mahesh babu during the time of ATHADU???(After duds like nijam,nani and arjun)
2.What is NTR during the time of RAKHI???(after andhrawala,samba,narsimhudu,ashok)
3.What is PRABHAS during the time of BILLA???(after pournami,yogi,munna)
4.what is ALLU ARJUN during the time of VEDAM???(after arya2 and varudu)
5.what is BALAKRISHNA during the time of PANDURANGADU???(after OKKAMAGADU and maharathi)
now
6.What is PAWAN KALYAN during the time of BALU OR BANGARAM OR ANNAVARAM OR JALSA OR PULI???
All the above options had their share of flops and hits.Their following,craze varied in accordance with their box office success...It is only PAWAN KALYAN whose following multiplied with each flop.I wonder these news channels dont put hiS name in the options.The reason is he is not another CHIRANJEEVI.No he is neither another KAMAL HASSAN nor RAJINIKANTH...He is a PAWAN KALYAN...he has a league of his own...People of andhra pradesh waits for his movie like a festival...His film is a celebration...
The biggest problem is PAWAN KALYAN never understands this...people can wait if he can come up with a decent and good movie after making them wait for 1 year...but films like JOHNNY,BANGARAM and PULI are not worth their waits...these films doesnt even have the basic things to entertain people...
My request is MR.PAWAN KALYAN...if you are so obsessed to do something for the society or for the people...please concentrate properly on your movies and give people what they want...public is not expecting you to do something personally...all we expect from you is a decent film...thats it...Like you said in the movie
"KARTAVYAME DEVALAYAM KARTAVYAME MASJID...MANA KARTAVYAM SARIGA CHESTE MANAME DEVULLAM ANI"...Plz do your kartavyam...
ANURAAG
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Rakhi spl

Sister about her brother...
Why do i need to share my parents love with you
Why do i share my closet,chocolates,cycle and kiddie bank with you
Why do i want to fight with only you all the time
Why do you get into a fight for me whenever a guy tries to tease me on road
Why do i daily check your horoscope after doing mine
Why do i share everything with you like i do it with mom
Why do i want you to be caring on me all the time like dad
Why do i feel so secured when you are around
Why is my wedding so important in your life than yours
Why do you stand behind me in all my turbulences
Why do you never want me to cry
Why do you always want me to smile
Why do you make me feel like a princess and
Why cannot i live without you
My only answer is I LOVE YOU BRO...U R THE BEST
-----ANURAAG KAUTOORI
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
DREAM WORKS...oops DEVILS WORK

The above pic might give you an impression that this post is going to be an highly emotional one describing about our age old friendship and all that blah blah blah...no thats not this post but am going to reveal a really safeguarded secret that only a few people know.Hey come on like our telugu filmmakers am not boring you with a BASHA kinda flashback.Sorry KRISHNA i am finally letting the cat out of the bag.
Like a lot of children we(krishna and i)were very much fascinated by the world of filmdom.We used to discuss a lot about cinema.I still couldn't the recall the day(may be i was 7 yrs old) KRISHNA came home once with a lot of anxiety and said
"bro lets make a movie...YOU ARE THE HERO AND I AM THE DIRECTOR...i have a story"
i said "lets ROCK".Thus our journey of MAD MAD DREAM WORLD started...We named our banner as KAUTOORI PRODUCTIONS...
Well the story was finalised,which i came to know only after the entire shooting is done and the cast was locked...me being the hero and the rest of the characters will be portrayed by KRISHNA himself...(wow didnt know then bro...u actually bet KAMAL HASSAN'S record)and then started scouting for an apt location for shooting.After a lot of struggle we suddenly realised my room is the desired place for everything...my room became the studio.Then started the shooting without camera,set properties,artistes etc but pure passion.
After making a movie,we decided to make movies continously(i know this is sounding crazy but we were damn serious about that)So whenever either of us got an idea we started developing scripts and started filming...The fate of our films depend completely on KRISHNA.He used to decide whether the movie is hit or flop out of his wish and we promptly followed whatever he said.
After few years SRIVATHSA joined us...The adventures we 3 did together on this might make another post...The passion we have is just incredible...we know its all fake but so seriously worked on this that even the night before our 10th exams we had series of discussions on our next project...
The most hilarious aspect is we used to have press meets on our films and most of our statements used to be very filmy like this...
"story chala differentga untundi...
anni emotions e script ki kudirai...
telugu screen meda rani o point e cinemalo undi...
chala different character...
talkie finish aindi balance songs foreignlo shoot cheali...
technicalga high standardslo untundi...
krishna garu baga direct chestunnaru nannu kottaga chupistunnaru..."blah blah blah
Whenever KRISHNA reminds me of this i burst into laughter like anything...The above incidents are all the heights of craziness.It was then the ultimate passion for us.After my 12th standard our priorities,passions,ambitions,aspirations are all changed but the craziness is till intact...we still love cinema and the movie making...
PS:After posting this i know its going to be very embarassing to face all the readers...am just trying to share all the fun things we had in childhood...thats it...
ANURAAG
Saturday, May 29, 2010
GOLIMAR REVIEW

PURI JAGAN,the maverick director who gave us the legendary POKIRI in 2006 is having a hard time these days at the box office.He is probably the only director who delivered hits with all the top heroes of telugucinema.His teaming with GOPICHAND raised a lot of curiosity among the movie lovers.
This movie is definitely better than his previous two outings(NENINTHE AND EK NIRANJAN) but the lack of entertainment and monotonous scenes marred the movie from becoming a blockbuster.The movie has strong dialogues with pacy narration in the first half but the momentum is not carried well in the second half.The climax is also routine.
Story of the movie has similarities to AB TAK CHAPPAN(both inspired from the life of DAYA NAYAK).Screenplay is good in the first half.There are certain scenes which has the mark of PURI.
The scenes i really liked in the movie are:
-Hero's first day as police.
-His first encounter at a concert
-Encounter at the hospital
-Interval block
-hero slapping the heroine
-pre climax
As i mentioned earlier dialogues are pretty strong in the movie and few of them received thumping applause from the audience.Some of them are:
-"Nuvvu police vi hero vi kadu"
"na drushtilo police hero ne sir"
-"painunna pressures valla pattinchukom kani pattinchukotam antu modaledite aa painunna devudinaina pattukuntam.that is police"
-"magallu love cheste reject cheyataniki ammailaki matrame rights unnai anthe kani ammailu adigite abbailu reject cheatani a rights e levu"
-"nuvvu maha aite 10-12 mandini champuntav anthega nenu 150 mandini champa...ipudu cheppara nuvva don nena"
-"padimandini mosam cheste enthokontha bagupadtav ninnu nuvve mosam chesukunte sanka nakipotav"(my fav line in the movie).
GOPICHAND gives a sincere performance and he looks macho in the police uniform.PRIYAMANI is good and i appreciate her for dubbing her own voice with perfect diction.KELLY DORJEE is menacing as the baddie.NASSER is fair.ROJA though at times loud is perfect as the mother.ALI is wasted.PRAKASH RAJ flashes in a guest appearance in the climax.
Music by CHAKRI is average.DOP by SAM.K.NAIDU is excellent with splendid visuals.Fights are well placed.Editing is smooth.Production values are grand.
THE GOOD: GOPICHAND,dialogues,first half and few interesting scenes.
THE BAD: Lack of entertainment and freshness,songs and the monotonous scenes(copying POKIRI)
LAST WORD:Watch it since there are no proper movies around
PS:After coming out of the theatre when i was reviewing the story myself i realised that the story is nothing but the reverse of POKIRI.
ANURAAG
Saturday, May 22, 2010
BADMASH COMPANY REVIEW

The film keeps you hooked right from the scene one.The movie balances the entertainment and intelligence in right proportions.There are many poignant moments in the movie.The backdrop of 90's is quite novel.The ideas and game plans in the business are the master strokes.The movie is perfect except for the penultimate 20 mins.
The scenes i really liked in the movie are:
-The flight episode
-Bangkok sequences
-The phone conversation between the lead pair
-Shoe idea(brilliant)
-Glouses idea
-Climax(excellent)
Shahid Kapoor is getting better and better with each movie.His character reminds me of LEONARDO DICAPRIO from CATCH ME IF U CAN.ANOUSHKA SHARMA is stunning and she should enter the big league with this movie.The chemistry between her and SHAHID is electrifying.VIR DAS is perfect so as the other friend CHANG.The foursome share a perfect chemistry.The rest are apt.
Writing is perfect except for the penultimate 20 mins.The director couldnt handle the seperation sequences properly.Music by PRITAM is foot tapping.Cinematography by SANJAY KAPOOR is brilliant.Dialogues are fantastic.Editing is slick but the runtime is over two and half hours.Production values of YRF are extra ordinary as usual.
THE GOOD:Cast,Screenplay,Freshness in the content,climax and the business plans.
THE BAD:The penultimate 25 odd mins and the length.
FINAL WORD:Recommended
RATING:***1/2
PS:In a recent interview director confessed that he wrote the entire movie in six days flat.
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